Some South Africans don’t know London from East London while others would like to board their cruise in Pretoria, according to local travel agents.
A 2024 report on www.snopes.com gives the example of a Washington agent, who said: “I got a call from a Congress staffer who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with: ‘I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.’ Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained: ‘Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa.’ Her response ... click.”
Warmed and inspired by that brilliant exchange, Travel News took to Travelinfo’s Open Jaw Facebook site to ask South African agents if they had encountered their own geographically challenged clients. And it turns out, yes, they have seen their fair share.
Tony King had this conversation with a client. “Yes... I want a flight to Hippopotamus in the USA!”
“Huh ? There's no such airport in the US...”
“Can you check ? I know it's an animal place I need to get to.”
I suddenly asked... “Is it Buffalo?”
“Yes, yes she said ... I knew it was a big animal.”
Nathalie De Rauville Carbonel said she recently had a client say:
“It's a short flight back from Mauritius.”
“What do you mean?” said she.
“It's six hours there and two hours back, so there must be massive tailwind.”
At this point she had to explain there is a two-hour time difference between South Africa and Mauritius!
Erica vd Merwe reported an angry client complaining because they had requested a cabin with an ocean view, yet all they could see was the parking lot. “Yes, it will be an ocean view once you leave port ma’am!”
Lisa Van der Westhuizen said she had a client who had wanted a flight from Randburg to OR Tambo.
Kurt Bauerle-Sims was once asked where the Mauritius cruise departed in Pretoria. “My reply… Hartbeespoort Dam.”
Similarly, an optimistic would-be traveller once asked Omera Rohana if they could drive to Mauritius.
Rohana said another client was keen to catch a bus to the Kruger National Park. When asked how they would get around, the client’s response was: “We will hitchhike.”
Nicoline Jordaan Reyneke shares the below exchange with a client who asked how to weigh her bag.
Me: “Weigh yourself and make a note of this. Pick up your bag, get on the scale with your bag and weigh yourself again. Subtract your weight from the weight of yourself and the bag.”
Client weighs herself, gets off, puts bag only on scale, but still doesn’t understand.
Me: Explain again that You + Bag - You = Bag.
Client says ok, she will ask her brother to do it, but she is worried because he weighs a lot more than her.
Marilyn Cochrane dealt with a client who said the Americans needed to provide him with a good reason why they wouldn’t give him a visa if he didn’t have a passport.
Sarah Vogt said: “A long time ago… I asked the secretary if her boss would prefer a window or aisle seat and she said: ‘Better book a window seat as he is a smoker!’ Yes, it was possible to smoke on board when I first started in travel, but it was not possible to open the window!”
Bronwyn Davey: “I was asked what time did second class leave on the train…”
Sandra Raw said: “A few years back I had a client travelling to New York City. She got to London and all the flights were cancelled due to a snow storm (they had actually closed ALL the airports there). She called me insisting that I get her there, even if it meant she needed to upgrade her current flight to business class. ‘Um, doesn't matter if you fly in a private jet. If the airports are closed, you're not going to get there!’”
Peter-John De Klerk said he had too many to tell. Like this one: “Do you need a visa to travel from JNB to DUR?”
Evangelique Thomas responded: “Peter-John De Klerk - That’s the same as ‘Do I need a passport to go to London?’”
Charlene Tiley said: “I had clients that were going to visit the Kruger Park and, asked me what the rate of exchange was between the rand and Kruger Rand.”
Sue van der Toorn said: “Had a client who thought he could take a bus from Doha to Phuket."
