Passengers have been sharing pilots’ funniest announcements, on the online forum Quora. Here are our top four.
1. Passenger Tim Morgan said: “In 1982, A British Airways flight from Singapore to Australia flew next to an erupting volcano near Indonesia, and ash shut down all four of the engines. The captain said: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem — all four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress’.”
2. Passenger Thea Kvant said: “Flying to Hungary from Sweden last year, the plane was taking quite some time to start moving — at one point the engines started, ran for about a minute and then shut off again. Then the captain said: ‘I would like to assure you there is nothing wrong with the plane, I just pressed the wrong button’.”
3. Passenger Serge Habourdin said: “Many years ago, we were seated on a flight due to depart on an early-morning domestic flight from Paris to Nice and nothing was happening. After a while, the passengers started to grumble and the pilot announced over the public address system: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we have a little technical problem that is to be solved soon. I don’t know about you, but as far as I am concerned, I do prefer to arrive late in this world than to arrive in advance in the other one’.”
4. Passenger Doug Massey said: “My favourite is what the pilot said to me when I was the only passenger on a plane meant for 100. He said: ‘Welcome to the Doug Massey Private Airline. We hope you enjoy your flight to Burlington. After we’ve reached the cruising altitude, I’ll turn off the seat belt sign and encourage you to try all the other seats in the cabin and let us know which one you like best’.”
